TA: Post Analayzizizizizizing

Okay. Got my paper back, [After the stupid CP internet wouldn't work, *rabble rabble*, and stressed me out like no other], and this is what lovely Brannon said: (very helpful, although you basically do need a magnifying glass to read his handwriting...)

-Asked if every child really dreaded "the talk", and mentioned that some studies might have found that kids preferred getting the talk. I should change it to refer to the oft-poked at media version, versus an actual "reality" talk.

Mentioned that the ideas from India could be pushed further, and then commented that he was curious if I was just talking about the U.S. or the whole world, because I have sources about India and Sweden. I agree... what the studies say support my claim very well, but my paper would have to be a lot bigger and a lot more comprehensive if I were to do it for the world over. So, need to nix those in the future. (Plus I realized too late that the Sweden study was about 15 years old, so I should change that anyway.) I'll focus it more definitely on the U.S.

He did compliment my examples of misinformation that teenagers have believed. So, if it's good, I'll keep it in, and say no more about that.

I'm pushing for parents to step up and take more responsibility for teaching their own kids, and doing it early, but it's coming off as preferring to take sex ed out of schools as well. I actually didn't mean to take it out of schools, because I believe parent's teachings can be supplemented. I guess I need to alter my criticisms and add that. I'm also curious if my teacher is going to read this far down my blog. I imagine not, because I would be bored to tears if I had to read this many, but on the other hand, this could be kinda fun because I can talk about purple cows and pygmy bananas, and nobody will be any less the wiser, and frankly, probably not care. I think it's genetic, to tell the truth... my sister started writing in German in one of her papers, and her teacher never said anything about it, although he gave the impression that he read through all of the studen'ts papers. Oh well. I think if my teacher does read this she'll post some snarky comment about it, and probably laugh. She's good natured like that. But, I really won't blame her if she doesn't read it, because.... heck, these are boring. Okay, back to sex ed. Brannon also mentioned that he likes the shift to emotional reasoning near the end, and points out that if I've sufficiently swayed my audience to my thinking, it'll drive the point home. If I haven't, however, I've probably lost them for good.
I don't know if I want to change the ending, necessarily. I may take out a sentence or two that is too much "bash you over the head with my pathos and hope the imprint stays". I need to make the rest of the paper more "when" oriented instead of as much "how". I think I kinda knew that as I was writing it, but I didn't really know how to change that, so, it stayed. At least I have some changing points I can work with and mold it a bit better.
So much like art. I'm such a nut.